Tackling My Pirate Teeth

Regular readers might remember me mentioning that not too long ago a small person told me I had teeth which were yellow like a pirate. At the end of that post I jokingly added that if anyone would like me to review their teeth whitening product please get in touch. Well lucky for me the good people over at ‘True White’ did. Yay!

This system was coming from the USA and my first mistake was not specifying the country when I gave them my address. As a result my package went via Sydney rather than straight to Scotland. Oopsie.

When it did arrive I was surprised how small it was. The Advanced Plus program for two people to have 10 treatments managed to fit through my letterbox which was great as it saved me schlepping up to the post office when it arrived when we were out.

Unfortunately not only was the package tiny but so were the instructions. Thankfully I have good eyesight but I’m pretty sure my mum would have struggled.

I read the instructions a few times to make sure I had understood everything. First I had to boil water to heat the mouth trays and mould them to my teeth. Not too complicated.

The next part was a little dozy of me. I loaded up the mouth tray and whacked them in before grabbing the as yet untested LED light. The instructions had failed to mention there was a piece of plastic inside the battery compartment preventing the LED light from being switched on during transportation. So I sat like a wally for 15 minutes with a light in my mouth for no reason. Do’h. Always test first folks.

The instructions sheet warns you will feel a little tingling. I was a little concerned as usually when my dentist says that it means I’m about to feel a world of pain. To be fair it was just a little tingling which wasn’t that uncomfortable. I did feel a bit stupid with the light hanging out of my mouth for 15 minutes but I guess it’s a small price to pay for kids not to tell you you have yellow pirate teeth.

You’re advised to do the procedure twice (so 30 minutes) on consecutive days three times. I have just completed the first treatment and I can see a slight lightening. I’ve got three more days to go, hopefully at the end I will never again be compared to a pirate.

The system was significantly cheaper than prices I was quoted at the dentist. It was painless and it allowed me to work while completing the treatment rather than being consigned to a dentist chair, attempting to answer questions with variation of ‘unghhh’ s. I was expecting a slightly more dramatic change but on reflection a subtle and gradual lightening is preferable and there is less chance of me blinding someone when flashing my gnashers.

Here are the details if you’re a bit worried preschoolers are going to start commenting on your teeth:

Advanced Plus for 2 people

Designed for use by two for maximum teeth whitening without hours in the dental chair and costly, painful treatments. Now the both of you can achieve a brighter, whiter smile in the privacy of your own home. For use as a front line teeth-whitening system or to touch-up your perfect smile:

  • Two 10 ML syringes
  • Two sets of mouth trays
  • Easy to follow instructions
  • Blue 5-LED accelerator light
  • See an instant shade change, lighter after only one treatment!
  • Same enamel-safe ingredients used by dentists
  • Pain-free and sensitivity-free.
  • Good for 20-25 dental quality treatments
  • $198

 

PS. If anyone would like to send me any whiskey or wine to review please feel free ūüėČ

 

 

 

*Disclaimer: I received the Advanced Plus for Two People in exchange for this review. All thoughts and opinions remain my own.

The #FartGlitter Linky: Week Thirty Seven AND GIVEAWAY!

Hey!

Welcome to #FartGlitter, a parenting link up hosted by myself, Poop Rainbow Mama

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and the wonderful Dawn from Rhyming with Wine

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Next week Dawn will be flying solo over at rhymingwithwine.com as the Poop Rainbows are making the big move over to Spain. Be sure to get over there on Monday to get your #FartGlitter on.

My favourite post from last week was ‘Life Before Mama Bear’ by S and B Mama. This list of things which have changed since Claire became a mum could have been written by me except I don’t think I’d be as funny.¬†Dawn plumped for ‘Expectations and Definitions’ by Roots and Wings Parenting.¬†Congratulations featured bloggers. Please grab a badge from below if you fancy.

So we’re here, back again, as every Monday 6am- 11.55pm on Wednesday (GMT) ready for you to link up your parenting posts, old and new.

If you’re new and haven’t done a linky yet the lovely Cuddle Fairy has written a great instruction post which you can find here. If you get stuck don’t be shy, send me a tweet and I’ll see if I can help.

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What to do:
  • Add up to two posts to the Inlinkz link below.
  • Please grab the badge and stick it at the bottom of your post.
  • Please swing by and comment on the¬†host posts, the one immediately before yours and one you’ve chosen at random, or more if you can :-). Karma is big in the blogging world.
  • Tag your comments with a #fartglitter so people know where you’re coming from.
  • Tweet @pooprainbowmama and @rhymingwithwine, if you want to and we’ll share your link with our followers.
  • If you’re not on the tweet reminder list but would like to get a little Twitter nudge every Monday morning please tweet us and let us know.

To show our love for all you linkers, this week we are also running a special giveaway! Yay! Fill in the rafflecopter below for your chance to win a Munchkin and MAM goodie bag.

20160814_154241*Only open for UK residents*

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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The Toddler App That Saved My Summer

A few weeks ago the novelty wore off and the Toddler started acting up.¬†Two weeks previously he’d been at nursery full-time during the week and then been occupied with playdates and the entertainment of a big city to occupy him at the weekend. Now we are in Inverness with its ‘summer’, no pint-sized mates and little other than country side and farm animals to occupy him.

The Toddler began subtly expressing boredom by the time dinner time ran around…..

communication with toddlers 1

And Mama used mindfulness to keep her emotions in check….

exhausted-page-001 1

And all in all things started to look a little desperate.

 

Then our saviour arrived: Kidloland, offering me an annual subscription of their preschool app- Hooray!

The Toddler has always loved nursery rhymes and in Thailand he would spend many a witching hour plonked in front of Old Macdonald and Co on Youtube. Unfortunately we are currently squatting at my parents house on the edge of the world and the internet signal isn’t strong enough to watch a GIF let alone stream youtube videos. Plus the screaming during the ‘Skip after 15 seconds’ ad breaks was a little grating.

I leapt at this app and was keen¬†desperate enough to walk for over an hour to use decent internet to download the various components. Once I’d found some WiFi it was very fast. There are so so so many songs and activities there is a danger it will eat up all your memory space but the clever people at Kidloland have avoided that problem by allowing you to download and erase and download again at your convenience. Due to our shaky home internet I went ahead and downloaded the lot and it fit on my small memory Kindle with room to spare. It’s fantastic that you use it offline.

I was a bit nervous the Toddler would need help, being only two and never having used a tablet before, which would leave me one less hand to consume wine and crisps with but those fears were misplaced. After being shown a couple of times how to navigate the homepage and press on the different characters he was away. There were no pop ups so no tantrums and there was so many songs I doubt he saw a 1/10 of it before it was bedtime. There was also no danger of him eating up all my savings as there are no in app purchases.

There are songs for almost every eventuality, with topics such as ‘Insects’ and ‘Vehicles’ as well as numbers, phonics and Nursery Rhymes. Predictably he has his favourites which we’ve heard over and over (and over and over) in true toddler fashion. He has actually learned the words to ‘Humpty Dumpty’, which is not a song I have ever taught him.

As I’ve mentioned he is only two so isn’t getting the most of the features yet. The games are a little beyond him but he can get in and out of them easily alone so it isn’t a problem and it’s great to have something he wont grow out of in 5 minutes. The app is designed for children aged 0-5.

As far as negatives go Grandma and Grandpa find the background music while he’s making a choice a bit¬†annoying but it doesn’t bother me and is actually significantly less annoying than the toys they’ve bought him recently. Other than that my only complaint is the Grandparents are half inching my Kindle in order to use the app with him when they babysit him next week. But I’ll swap bedtime reading for toddler-free time in a heartbeat so that’s not a big issue either.

kidloland

So if you are dreading that time between dinner and bed, or would like to have a meal which wasn’t bolted down resulting in indigestion, or you are at a bit of a loss by this point in the summer holidays Mama highly recommends Kidloland. 300+ songs and rhymes, 220+ games and activities¬†for¬†$4.99/ month, $24.99/ 6 months or the best value: $39.99/ year. Bargain.

The app is available for several different systems are can be purchased by following the links below:

KidloLand (iOS):

https://itunes.apple.com/gb/app/kidloland-nursery-rhymes-songs/id533412119?mt=8

Nursery Rhymes For Kids (Google Play Store):
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.internetdesignzone.nurseryrhymes&hl=en

KidloLand (Amazon Appstore):
https://www.amazon.com/Internet-Design-Zone-Nursery-Rhymes/dp/B00HFQBCEU

 

*Disclaimer: I received a subscription for this app in exchange for this review but all opinions remain my own.

The #FartGlitter Linky: Week Thirty Six

Hey!

Welcome to #FartGlitter, a parenting link up hosted by myself, Poop Rainbow Mama

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and the wonderful Dawn from Rhyming with Wine

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My favourite post from last week was ‘Muma’s Restaurant Nightmare’ by Muma on the Edge.¬†This is a hilarious recount a lovely meal out with the family that didn’t quite go as planned. Dawn plumped for ‘The Daddy Tag’ by Stented Papa.¬†Congratulations featured bloggers. Please grab a badge from below if you fancy.

So we’re here, back again, as every Monday 6am- 11.55pm on Wednesday (GMT) ready for you to link up your parenting posts, old and new.

If you’re new and haven’t done a linky yet the lovely Cuddle Fairy has written a great instruction post which you can find here. If you get stuck don’t be shy, send me a tweet and I’ll see if I can help.

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What to do:
  • Add up to two posts to the Inlinkz link below.
  • Please grab the badge and stick it at the bottom of your post.
  • Please swing by and comment on the¬†host posts, the one immediately before yours and one you’ve chosen at random, or more if you can :-). Karma is big in the blogging world.
  • Tag your comments with a #fartglitter so people know where you’re coming from.
  • Tweet @pooprainbowmama and @rhymingwithwine, if you want to and we’ll share your link with our followers.
  • If you’re not on the tweet reminder list but would like to get a little Twitter nudge every Monday morning please tweet us and let us know.
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The #FartGlitter Linky: Week Thirty Five

Hey!

Welcome to #FartGlitter, a parenting link up hosted by myself, Poop Rainbow Mama

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and the wonderful Dawn from Rhyming with Wine

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My favourite post from last week was ‘The Barbeque Debacle’ by the Unsung Mum.¬†Fantastically hilarious cartoons matched with a brilliantly relatable less than perfect British BBQ- ace!¬†Dawn plumped for ‘Mumsplaining- Potty Training’ by Coffee and Bubbles.¬†Congratulations featured bloggers. Please grab a badge from below if you fancy.

So we’re here, back again, as every Monday 6am- 11.55pm on Wednesday (GMT) ready for you to link up your parenting posts, old and new.

If you’re new and haven’t done a linky yet the lovely Cuddle Fairy has written a great instruction post which you can find here. If you get stuck don’t be shy, send me a tweet and I’ll see if I can help.

My Kid Doesn't Poop Rainbows
What to do:
  • Add up to two posts to the Inlinkz link below.
  • Please grab the badge and stick it at the bottom of your post.
  • Please swing by and comment on the¬†host posts, the one immediately before yours and one you’ve chosen at random, or more if you can :-). Karma is big in the blogging world.
  • Tag your comments with a #fartglitter so people know where you’re coming from.
  • Tweet @pooprainbowmama and @rhymingwithwine, if you want to and we’ll share your link with our followers.
  • If you’re not on the tweet reminder list but would like to get a little Twitter nudge every Monday morning please tweet us and let us know.
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Napless Days Causes Insanity

We have a tendency to live ridiculously far away from our familial support network and so nights away from the Toddler are few and far between. To make up for this, every six months when we visit my parents I ask if they would mind please watching their beautiful and well behaved (cough) and easy (cough cough) grandson for a couple of nights. Or in this case four nights, as apparently I was feeling lucky.

And lucky I was. My amazing parents agreed and so the Mummy and I arranged to meet a good friend on a campsite in the lake district, rapidly packed up the tiny rental car and hightailed it out of there as fast as a Fiat 500 can go.

no naps 1

Everyone knows that when you leave your kids with their grandparents all bets are off. Schedules and bedtimes are thrown out the window. Vegetables are swapped for salt and sugar and rules are flexed well beyond breaking point.

Perhaps not a great reflection on me as a parent but that didn’t worry me too much as I knew I wouldn’t be the one having to deal with an over stimulated toddler hopped up on sugar and sleep deprived well past his bedtime. I also ‘knew’ that upon my return service would return to normal after a few days. Silly, silly me.

When the Mummy and I gleefully departed for our break the Toddler was sleeping for at least 2 hours during the afternoon. Two blissful hours in which I could watch a movie, do a little tidying up and catch up with some blog stuff. Aaaaaand relax.

no naps 2

During the long weekend with Grandma and Grandpa far too much fun was being had to consider sticking to the nap schedule. Now the Toddler has seen the light and decided that Mummy and Mama would much rather be playing with him for an extra two hours than having a sit down and catching up with some chores.

My son is two years and two¬†days old and he hasn’t had a nap in four days. Hold me!

I’m still holding on to a shred of hope that this is just a phase and we can get back to peaceful afternoons and apparently so is the Mummy as she is currently attempting to put the Toddler down for the third time this afternoon.

I knew this day would come eventually but NOT NOW! It’s the flipping summer holidays. We have no money and it rains every single day here. I do not need an extra two hours with my son, thanks!

Come on, Powers That Be. You’ve already screwed me royally with a son who won’t eat anything that doesn’t come out of a packet. At least let me keep naps until he starts nursery in September, please?

Mummascribbles

How a Grandparent Buys a Birthday Present

The Baby has turned two and shall henceforth be known here as the Toddler *sobs and wipes away a wee tear*

Yesterday was the big day which was full of yummy food, petting zoos, being spoiled and, of course, presents.

There’s a checklist I go through when planning to buy the Toddler a gift. There is also a checklist my son’s grandparents go through when planning to buy a gift. I realize now that those checklists can have a couple of key differing points.

Mama’s List

  • Is it something the Toddler is interested in?
  • Is it educational or good for fine/gross motor skills?
  • Does it do more than one thing?
  • Does it use his imagination?
  • Can he play with it independently without causing whining and tantrums?
  • Does it have few pieces that wont be scattered to all end of the earth and take an age to tidy away?
  • Will I survive standing on one of the pieces?
  • Is it affordable?
  • Will it entertain him for more than 10 minutes?
  • Is it sturdy¬†enough not to collapse every time he goes near it and cause wailing?

And, most importantly:

  • Will I able to handle my son playing with it for an hour at 5 am without wanting to chuck it (and him) out the window?

If the answer to all of these questions is yes I usually get myself onto a well known second hand auction site and get bidding.

My parent’s list has different priorities.

¬†Grandparents’ list.

  • Is it so loud and persistent that you wont be able to hold a conversation over the racket?
  • Is it waaay to old for him?
  • Does it carry an element of danger?
  • Is it something he has no hope of playing with independently?
  • Is it something that actually the Grandpa might have more fun playing with than the Toddler?
  • Did it cost a small fortune?
  • Does it offer no developmental opportunities whatsoever?
  • Is it something the Toddler will love deeply despite being age inappropriate, dangerous and causing tantrums?
  • Is it so mind numbingly annoying that it will inevitably be ‘forgotten’ at Grandma’s house by the Mama when it comes time to leave?

Yes! Fantastic- let’s buy it!

Thanks, Grandpa. The Toddler loves his new racing car track which is meant for over fives, a very deafeningly loud motor, requires adult supervision to be played with and fires heavy metal cars around at the speed of light before they inevitable crash and are flung off the track into soft, unsuspecting faces. Awesome.

grandparents gifts

The #FartGlitter Linky: Week Thirty Four

Hey!

Welcome to #FartGlitter, a parenting link up hosted by myself, Poop Rainbow Mama

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and the wonderful Dawn from Rhyming with Wine

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My favourite post from last week was ‘Don’t Get Annoyed If You’ve Put A Bunny On Your Head’¬†by All Things Spliced. A fabulous and hilarious list of things you never through would cross your lips but post children seem perfectly normal.¬†Dawn plumped for ‘The First Case of Exhausted Mother Reported as School Year Ends’ by Absolutely Prabulous.¬†Congratulations featured bloggers. Please grab a badge from below if you fancy.

So we’re here, back again, as every Monday 6am- 11.55pm on Wednesday (GMT) ready for you to link up your parenting posts, old and new.

If you’re new and haven’t done a linky yet the lovely Cuddle Fairy has written a great instruction post which you can find here. If you get stuck don’t be shy, send me a tweet and I’ll see if I can help.

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What to do:
  • Add up to two posts to the Inlinkz link below.
  • Please grab the badge and stick it at the bottom of your post.
  • Please swing by and comment on the¬†host posts, the one immediately before yours and one you’ve chosen at random, or more if you can :-). Karma is big in the blogging world.
  • Tag your comments with a #fartglitter so people know where you’re coming from.
  • Tweet @pooprainbowmama and @rhymingwithwine, if you want to and we’ll share your link with our followers.
  • If you’re not on the tweet reminder list but would like to get a little Twitter nudge every Monday morning please tweet us and let us know.
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The #FartGlitter Linky: Week Thirty Three

Hey!

Welcome to #FartGlitter, a parenting link up hosted by myself, Poop Rainbow Mama

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and the wonderful Dawn from Rhyming with Wine

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My favourite post from last week was ‘Shopping + Kids= Disaster! ‘ by Five Little Doves. This brave lady wrote about her decision to attempt shopping with not one, not two but three young kids. She then allowed us to laugh at her nightmare. ¬†Dawn plumped for ‘The Battle of Bedtime’ by Not An Effing Fairy Tale Blog.Congratulations featured bloggers. Please grab a badge from below if you fancy.

So we’re here, back again, as every Monday 6am- 11.55pm on Wednesday (GMT) ready for you to link up your parenting posts, old and new.

If you’re new and haven’t done a linky yet the lovely Cuddle Fairy has written a great instruction post which you can find here. If you get stuck don’t be shy, send me a tweet and I’ll see if I can help.

My Kid Doesn't Poop Rainbows
What to do:
  • Add up to two posts to the Inlinkz link below.
  • Please grab the badge and stick it at the bottom of your post.
  • Please swing by and comment on the¬†host posts, the one immediately before yours and one you’ve chosen at random, or more if you can :-). Karma is big in the blogging world.
  • Tag your comments with a #fartglitter so people know where you’re coming from.
  • Tweet @pooprainbowmama and @rhymingwithwine, if you want to and we’ll share your link with our followers.
  • If you’re not on the tweet reminder list but would like to get a little Twitter nudge every Monday morning please tweet us and let us know.
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You Can’t Win A Battle of Wills With a Toddler

You can always tell what’s stressing me out as a mother as it features heavily on here. So this week we’re back on food. Sorry.

As you might have read here, here¬†or¬†here food and the Baby has been an ongoing problem. A confident, exploring and happily eating baby-led-weaned one year old slowly narrowed his opinion of acceptable menu options until we reached this point, just shy of his second birthday, where he effectively eats only one meal and a handful of snacks. Most of which aren’t particularly healthy.

Because I am a googling mother I have read almost every piece of advice going, of which there is no shortage. I have presented a variety of different food, ate as a family, offered rejected items 15 (++++) times, begged, bribed and ignored. As you might have guessed this panicked flitting from one approach to another hasn’t led to a particularly consistent approach with regards to meal times.

I got a bee in my bonnet the other night when the Baby asked for eggs and then, when they were happily plonked in front of him, pushed them away and refused to eat a bite.

The red mist came down.

This has gone on for long enough. This ends now. The foot is being put down.

The adage should read, ‘You can lead a toddler to eggs but you can’t make him effing¬†eat the ba#$%rd things’.

His two mothers, grandmother, grandfather and uncle begged him to eat the eggs. He was offered bribes of Thomas yogurt, ice cream and cake. The amount of eggs he needed to eat fell from a plate to a few bites to one bite to a lick. He bounced back and forth from the naughty spot. There were tears aplenty, both his and mine.

Eventually, as it became obvious my stubbornness was clearly matched by my offspring’s we called it quits and sent him to bed with no dinner.

Needless to say this wasn’t my most shining parenting moment.

Desperation, wine and exhaustion led me to make the decision that this wasn’t working and wasn’t worth the stress. We’re going with ignoring. He’ll be given a meal on a plate and he eats it or he doesn’t. No begging, cajoling or bribing. No fuss.

We’re three days into this new plan and there have been a few missed meals but he doesn’t seem any the worse for it and my sanity is intact. The only slight wobble I had was when he woke up the morning after the nightmare night and, when asked what he would like for breakfast, replied:

eggs

Give.Me.Strength.